Happy 2008!

Happy New Year!

I returned early this morning from Seattle, on the red eye – we celebrated New Year’s on the plane, and while that’s a seemingly unappealing way to celebrate, it wasn’t so bad. The plane was not packed, everyone was in a pretty good mood, the attendants were particularly nice, and the flying went smoothly. I was rather hoping that the airline would pass out free drinks, but they kept to the script of selling not only drinks but also food. Though I was tempted by the $5 cocktails (not bad for New York prices), I ended up passing on the alcohol and stuck to water as I’m constantly dehydrated when I fly. That, and the fact that I had three cups of Zeitgeist coffee and an amazing Top Pot donut while in Seattle, made me thirst for water more than anything else. (For those who love donuts and coffee, the Top Pot / Zeitgeist combo is unbeatable, in my mind.)

On my flight back, I was seated next to one of the fuselage doors, and a woman across the aisle from me, in the same row, was hyperventilating with fear. She stammered repeatedly to the steward that she understood that her fear of flying was only a phobia, but the only reason why she was flying was to make a wedding that she couldn’t have made otherwise since it was across the country. I found it odd that the airline would allow her to sit in a row where you’re required to certify your willingness to help other passengers in the event of an emergency, but nevertheless, there she sat – and to the airline’s credit, the attendant talked her through the take off. Also, before we departed, the co-pilot provided a quick tour of the cockpit, and she came back apparently reassured. I thought that, too, rather odd since the sight of all of those blinking lights and switches tends to make me wonder at our ability to master such a complex thing as a modern jet airplane, and would probably make me more rather than less nervous. But she already knew that the plane, and flying, was safe – what made her feel better were the efforts of the crew to make her feel better.

Catching up on some blogging, I notice that a number of blogs I read have put up resolutions for the new year – whether concerning professional, personal, or blogging objectives. I have to confess to weakness of will: I can’t remember a single time when I’ve resolved to do something in the coming year and actually met that goal. Ordinarily, by the end of the month I’ve completely forgotten my resolutions, and even if I write them down I don’t always appreciate them later with the same psychological or motivational force that drove me to turn them into resolutions in the first place. I suppose that’s because most of the time my resolutions tend to be general and obvious (exercise more, lose weight, be more organized, etc.) or hyper-specific (exercise 4 times a week for at least 30-40 minutes per session; read 3 journal articles a week, etc.). I then spend a considerable amount of effort trying to operationalize these resolutions by constructing a complex series of incentives and penalties, before abandoning the whole thing with disinterest by mid-January. Life takes over and my mind starts to wander elsewhere.

Discipline of a productive kind – discipline that leads to finished articles, completed proposals, and so on – has always eluded me. Still, in the past year I did have one very productive experience: in July, feeling overweight and sluggish, I visited the school nutritionist (part of the student health plan!), who proceeded to guide me to a healthier diet and lifestyle and about 15 pounds off my summer high. The weight loss would have been more significant had I not done a fair amount of backsliding during the last month as the paper deadlines and holiday dinners started to pile on. It’s not as if the nutritionist told me something that I hadn’t heard before – it’s that out of the many many things I’ve heard and read about how to manage your diet, eating, exercise, etc. she helped me to make some selections and choices, and gave me a sense of how these would play out over time, which helped – it’s the impatience at waiting for results that usually leads me to do things willy-nilly.

Though I have set some goals for myself – there are certain things that, for institutional reasons, I have to finish or complete – I’ve gleaned from last summer’s experience with the nutritionist that becoming a more productive person means, for me at any rate, being in constant negotiation with your day rather than setting out grand objectives for the year. Writing down what I did on a daily basis helped me to remember what I still needed to do, or could do, the next day. No resolutions, really; but constant, never-ending lists and reminders, which become ways to tease out possibilities for the hours, rather than the year, ahead.

All this being said, I’d still like to lose another 10 pounds this year. And be deep into my dissertation, whatever that will be on. And maybe be in shape for next year’s conference season as well…